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I don't want to be so afraid of human contact, but that's how I am right now.
I'm so anxious that I had to lie on my roommate's bed and cover my face with a heavy blanket. Everything's gonna be fine.
I'm just in that weird place where I want, but I don't want. I can't.
Sorry for rambling about this, I just need to let it out.
Edit:
Sunday I had interactions with someone, nothing major, but enough.
All day yesterday I was a complete wreck. Panic attack at work, couldn't talk to anybody, I wanted to self-harm so badly. My colleagues, most of them kind middle-aged men, were so worried about me, but I couldn't and still can't put into words how I felt. My mind is still very foggy and my hands keep shaking.
I don't know if the two are related, but I'm starting to think there's something underlying wrong with me.
I'm so anxious that I had to lie on my roommate's bed and cover my face with a heavy blanket. Everything's gonna be fine.
I'm just in that weird place where I want, but I don't want. I can't.
Sorry for rambling about this, I just need to let it out.
Edit:
Sunday I had interactions with someone, nothing major, but enough.
All day yesterday I was a complete wreck. Panic attack at work, couldn't talk to anybody, I wanted to self-harm so badly. My colleagues, most of them kind middle-aged men, were so worried about me, but I couldn't and still can't put into words how I felt. My mind is still very foggy and my hands keep shaking.
I don't know if the two are related, but I'm starting to think there's something underlying wrong with me.
Exciting Changes, Come Visit My New Writing Space
Hello everyone,
I know it's been a long time, but I'm entering a new space with my writing, and I wanted to be sure to share that with all of you. While this space has been full of heartache and pain to look back on, I know that sharing the things I did and talking with you all truly saved my life all those years. I will always be grateful to you all, and to deviantart, for giving me a place where I could let the pain out.
With that being said, I'm excited to have a new, positive space in which to share my writing. I'm launching my Patreon this weekend, and I am very thrilled and very scared, but I think it's going to be a great journey. If
Self-Portrait as a Door
A week ago, I donated bone marrow for a stranger. He is my age, and has likely been suffering for years. It's crazy that two years ago, and for brief flashes since then, I contemplated ending my own life, and now I've saved someone else's. It's been an incredible, albeit painful, experience.
I've written some of the best poetry I've ever written this past year, and its thanks to a mood-leveling medication (which I've since weaned off), a beautiful group of supportive people and openness with them, and the challenge to think critically but benevolently about myself and what I want out of life. I graduated college, and while its been a difficu
you can always delete yourself later
I'm in my bed in my dad's house. It is snowing outside. I'm trying to write a poem. Any poem.
I don't feel safe with myself right now.
Beginnings
There's a lot going on in my life right now, and I'm honestly just trying to keep myself caught up with it all. But I decided to write some of it down here, just so you know that there's good changes going on, and also to explain the disappearance of some of my work.
I applied to be a poetry reader/editor for a fellow poet's literary magazine: https://persephonesdaughters.wordpress.com/
I'll hear back by mid May, and either way I hope to contribute poetry to her beautiful zine. Y'all should check it out once submissions open.
I'm a 10 page research paper (and 4 finals) away from completing my sophomore year of college. It's scary, but amaz
© 2015 - 2024 sense-and-stupidity
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Get to a doctor NOW!