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I'm in my bed in my dad's house. It is snowing outside. I'm trying to write a poem. Any poem. 

I don't feel safe with myself right now.

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Universe:
your bellybutton.
the scar from when you were a born
like a moist molten sun,
the first stranger who
struck the first scream from you
like an indicator.
how you hold your palm to your
belly when you laugh,
like joy has become painful stitches binding a wound.
how you came to my room last night
and bent over the bed-rails to kiss me.
put your tongue in my mouth.
sucked the trigger word from my vocabulary,
through my airway.
how, still, our hearts have chambers like guns.

Universe:
the way my body
molded itself to your body,
came cramping in hunger
when you were away.
the way, when you’re gone now,
my body searches out couches in other men’s apartments
with all the springs torn out.
swallowing, wallowing,
wishing i could cry out.
Emulating consent with open limbs
and a closed mouth policy.
come back, darling.

Universe:
how when I am finally thoroughly busted,
my heart lights up like a canon and spends itself
in one heap.
my spine lets the fabric sag and consume it.
Fall asleep to the sound of my pulse
and the DVD menu loop through its music,
again and again.
Imagine my body falling through and through
the universe of your belly-button.
my head flooded with a galaxy
of numb-tongue and
gin smiles.

condoms, wallets,
lube forced in with cum,
moans like pockets turned inside out.
full-body orgasms,
g-spots like remote controls.

universe:
your image warbling on the edge
of my break-down.
belly exposed like a dark room.
i have never wanted to pierce the surface
so badly;
skin and skin and skin
to break my body
into wearing you again.

Baby, self-destruction is as easy as
mixing gun powder with wine,
and chasing the passion with a flame.
Loving you is that way.

I lay in a mixer of stars
and swirl your godly memory.
Universal Body-Fucking
I'm a little tipsy right now, so posting this feels like a good idea.
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So I started a tumblr blog for my writing. I don't know how much I'll have up in the near future (as of now, only one poem up), but I'm taking another poetry class this semester, and I wanted a fresh place to post things. I feel as if this space, while safe and supportive, is very tied up with my past and my problems. I need somewhere completely new. 

I'll be posting new things on here as well, hopefully, but for the most part, I'll be posting to this new blog.

I love all of you, and apologize for my absence. My book never made it past its almost-publication, but I hope to muddle through something newer in the next year. I'd love to have you guys follow me at my new place, and to follow you in return. 

Here's to a new chapter. 

theproperverb.tumblr.com/
  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: Into the Fire - Thirteen Senses
  • Drinking: coffee

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You are gone. Vanquished by
the sound of the floorboards
protesting, of the cupboards
rummaging among themselves.

You are gone. You were setting
out dinner plates for someone
else, preparing spaces in the material
tracing the shadows
of future men
with your blue ink fingers.

The black circlet of your teeth
slips from my throat
to the shower floor.
Like a tick.
The feast is over.
Round and sore,
my breasts hang the way
my mother’s used to.
I bleed the way the woman
down the street bleeds.
She strings her laundry
on the clothesline
like scarecrows.
She believes they will
stand guard over her body.
They swing
stiff as abortions
in the breeze.

I consider that my mouth
is likely the last to have taken
my mother’s breast,
as the last of two children,
to have held it on my tongue
like a shattered light bulb
and drawn hard with need.

My father perhaps detested the way
love poured sloppily from every
curve of her body,
my mother ashamed of the slits
the surgeons made to free me,
thin worms on her belly she hid
with her palms
when my father came to her.
Those worms feed at my rib-cage
as I practice undressing,
like a backwards puppet-show;
fissures of
not understanding why
a man cannot love
me.

I dream about the dark
saucer of the moon.
The fisherman’s body
revolving on a thin string.
How the wolf upon its
gray surface seems to
suckle on a howl.

You are gone. Like my
father. You keep your ring
of teeth looped
about your finger like a
barbed chain.
I roll over and
do not greet your ghost
at the door.

You are gone. Vanished into
the silence of the floorboards,
into the screams
you once coaxed
from our bed-frame.
Den of Thieves
.
First thing I've written in months. Ripped it out of my jugular.
Loading...
There's a lot going on in my life right now, and I'm honestly just trying to keep myself caught up with it all. But I decided to write some of it down here, just so you know that there's good changes going on, and also to explain the disappearance of some of my work.

I applied to be a poetry reader/editor for a fellow poet's literary magazine: persephonesdaughters.wordpress…
I'll hear back by mid May, and either way I hope to contribute poetry to her beautiful zine. Y'all should check it out once submissions open.

I'm a 10 page research paper (and 4 finals) away from completing my sophomore year of college. It's scary, but amazing at the same time. There was a time last year when I didn't know if I would make it to the end of freshman year. And here I am.

I've been submitting both old and new poetry to literary magazines and reviews this month (4 more went out yesterday night), so I'm hoping that it goes well. As mentioned above, you may notice some of my better pieces disappearing from my gallery. They're still here, in my scraps. I couldn't stand the thought of deleting them, even though I have copies saved elsewhere and magazines don't want them to be available anywhere else. I doubt they'll find them here, or care.

My poem "Landlocked" was accepted to Parenthetical Magazine last week. It will be published in their online and (limited) print May issue. Link here: www.wordsonpagespress.com/pare…

My poetry book is currently on hold, since I've been so busy lately and I've submitted a lot of my work elsewhere. We'll see what happens with that. I was offered a place to publish my poetry (possibly) by an old friend and previous advisor, who just started his own publishing company. We'll see how that pans out. 


I hope y'all are doing well. I've been so happy, yet so stressed, at times. I had one minor slip, but it's all fine now. Better even.
I don't want to say that boyfriend brings out the happiness in me, but I would say that he makes it easier for me to bring out the happiness myself. :) I hope positive change are in store for all of us, my lovelies. Thank you for all of you that believed in me when I couldn't. 
  • Mood: Bliss
  • Listening to: Bones - James Blunt
  • Reading: Lefkowitz and Fant
  • Drinking: coffee
I'm in my bed in my dad's house. It is snowing outside. I'm trying to write a poem. Any poem. 

I don't feel safe with myself right now.

deviantID

sense-and-stupidity

Artist | Student | Literature
United States
My book: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/symbo…

"I want the count down inside of me to stop being so precise; I want to jump to zero and back to infinity. I believe in infinity. It's my fatal flaw."
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Add a Comment:
 
:iconalloendreams:
AlloenDreams Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2015
you are loved and missed, but i hope you are off making yourself happy.

if not, i'm always here :heart:
Reply
:iconpanosozi:
panosozi Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thanks a lot for the fav on my photo.
wish u the best.
if you have time take a look at my rest gallery 
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Edited Jan 9, 2015   General Artist
hello there, lovely person! :huggle:
this is to inform you that i have made use of one of the titles in your poetry in my title poem over here: fav.me/d8d65gn :love:
i hope that this is alright with you, pray that you enjiy the read, and thank you for your inspirational artistry! :eager: <3
Reply
:iconfadedworlds:
fadedworlds Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you for the fav!  
Reply
:iconpsychobeast:
PsychoBeast Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014
You inspire me so much, your works make me write, write write. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always msg me. (even though you dont know me :P)
Reply
:iconsense-and-stupidity:
sense-and-stupidity Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much for this. I've kept from replying just so I can keep it in my inbox and look at it when I log on. One of my greatest wishes in life is to inspire other people, in whatever way. :) I'm glad you are writing and writing and writing; it's the only way to live, in my opinion. Have a splendid day, friend.
Reply
:iconpsychobeast:
PsychoBeast Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2015
wow this was so long go, im so sorry i didnt see this sooner. please msg me on my tumblr mckrackenisattacken.tumblr.com if you forgive me and/ or wish to conversate upon how awesome your work is
Reply
:iconsense-and-stupidity:
sense-and-stupidity Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2015  Student Writer
Just followed you. I'm theproperverb. :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconchoque-plumbeo:
Choque-Plumbeo Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
hey wanna read a play with me?
Reply
:iconsense-and-stupidity:
sense-and-stupidity Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014  Student Writer
Yes. Which and how and when?
Reply
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