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deviation in storage by HisHalfElf

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There's a lot going on in my life right now, and I'm honestly just trying to keep myself caught up with it all. But I decided to write some of it down here, just so you know that there's good changes going on, and also to explain the disappearance of some of my work.

I applied to be a poetry reader/editor for a fellow poet's literary magazine: persephonesdaughters.wordpress…
I'll hear back by mid May, and either way I hope to contribute poetry to her beautiful zine. Y'all should check it out once submissions open.

I'm a 10 page research paper (and 4 finals) away from completing my sophomore year of college. It's scary, but amazing at the same time. There was a time last year when I didn't know if I would make it to the end of freshman year. And here I am.

I've been submitting both old and new poetry to literary magazines and reviews this month (4 more went out yesterday night), so I'm hoping that it goes well. As mentioned above, you may notice some of my better pieces disappearing from my gallery. They're still here, in my scraps. I couldn't stand the thought of deleting them, even though I have copies saved elsewhere and magazines don't want them to be available anywhere else. I doubt they'll find them here, or care.

My poem "Landlocked" was accepted to Parenthetical Magazine last week. It will be published in their online and (limited) print May issue. Link here: www.wordsonpagespress.com/pare…

My poetry book is currently on hold, since I've been so busy lately and I've submitted a lot of my work elsewhere. We'll see what happens with that. I was offered a place to publish my poetry (possibly) by an old friend and previous advisor, who just started his own publishing company. We'll see how that pans out. 


I hope y'all are doing well. I've been so happy, yet so stressed, at times. I had one minor slip, but it's all fine now. Better even.
I don't want to say that boyfriend brings out the happiness in me, but I would say that he makes it easier for me to bring out the happiness myself. :) I hope positive change are in store for all of us, my lovelies. Thank you for all of you that believed in me when I couldn't. 
  • Mood: Bliss
  • Listening to: Bones - James Blunt
  • Reading: Lefkowitz and Fant
  • Drinking: coffee
Having reached the time in my sadness
when I told the ambulance not to hurry,
I tied certain poems to my neck and
let them tug me
from way up high above this city.
It may have resembled a noose,
but I promise,
they saved me.
Why Transcendental Youth Uses a Trumpeter
I'm currently submitting poems to many, many literary magazines, so I will not be posting very much on here.
This is one of the poems I wrote most recently. I feel like my pulse is beating in this one. Not sure everyone will get it,
but it's important to me.

Stay safe, loves.

Here's the song referenced in the title - "Transcendental Youth" The Mountain Goats:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6RQwx…
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Any people down to proof-read my poetry book "manuscript." I decided on April 1st to get down and just write the damn thing that day, and got pretty much all of it put together by the end of the day. Hence, it is a little wonky. I'm working on fixing some formatting issues, but by the end of today or tomorrow I think it'll be ready for others' eyes. 

If anyone would be down to read over it - check for spelling/grammar (if it pleases you), lines that are confusing or should be omitted (and lines that you love love love!!!), poems that don't quite fit or don't feel finished, perhaps, or even just to read it and give me feedback on length/themes/if the order works for you. 

Maybe three people?? Preferably people whom I know fairly well?? I would literally be emailing you sections of my book, so I'm a little antsy, but I need constructive criticism. Y'all would all receive honorable mention for your services. :)
  • Mood: Eager
  • Listening to: Lady Adelaide - Benjamin Gibbard
  • Reading: Strange Light - Derrick C. Brown
  • Drinking: coffee
I told my mom. I explained about depression and self-harm. I decided to be blunt and just tell her: it made things better, but not anymore. Telling my dad is going to be interesting, but I'm just so over hiding.

Burned my arm though, at work. Not gonna say it wasn't a little satisfying. Boyfriend accidentally burst the blister last night, but now it's finally starting to heal.

Oh yeah, boyfriend.

Sorry. It's just spring break at last, and I'm really happy (though nervous). 

Hope y'all are happy as well.
  • Mood: Peaceful
  • Listening to: "Listen to the Man" - George Ezra
  • Reading: De Profundis - Oscar Wilde
  • Eating: goldfish
Mature Content Filter is On. The Artist has chosen to restrict viewing to deviants 18 and older.
(Contains: sexual themes, violence/gore and ideologically sensitive material)
my rapist has a name.
i hate that.
something cut-throat and simple,
something that powders up your cheeks with a smile,
something soft and persuasive like
john.

poetic license means i can say i killed you.
means i can imagine beating your skull in
with your spare bike tire,
imagine screaming "NO" so loud
all the trees banged against the outside of the building.
imagine biting,
imagine nails full of evidence.

imagine a heart full of evidence.

imagine myself not afraid to let this other boy,
not john, touch me without my bra on.
imagine myself not lying on the floor in the exact
position i was in when i realized that
john was a rapist.

that rapists have names and
birthday parties and
babies so young that they don't have a word
for that bearded face leaning down,
no name for father,
no name for loved one.

i lay on the ground and realize
i do not have a name for what i am anymore.
he is the rapist.
i was named after a grandmother who is now gone.

what am i now,
now that john sticks his black fingernails
into my hair as i sleep.
now that running
feels like his bare brown chest sticking to mine with sweat,
pressing into the ground.
There's a lot going on in my life right now, and I'm honestly just trying to keep myself caught up with it all. But I decided to write some of it down here, just so you know that there's good changes going on, and also to explain the disappearance of some of my work.

I applied to be a poetry reader/editor for a fellow poet's literary magazine: persephonesdaughters.wordpress…
I'll hear back by mid May, and either way I hope to contribute poetry to her beautiful zine. Y'all should check it out once submissions open.

I'm a 10 page research paper (and 4 finals) away from completing my sophomore year of college. It's scary, but amazing at the same time. There was a time last year when I didn't know if I would make it to the end of freshman year. And here I am.

I've been submitting both old and new poetry to literary magazines and reviews this month (4 more went out yesterday night), so I'm hoping that it goes well. As mentioned above, you may notice some of my better pieces disappearing from my gallery. They're still here, in my scraps. I couldn't stand the thought of deleting them, even though I have copies saved elsewhere and magazines don't want them to be available anywhere else. I doubt they'll find them here, or care.

My poem "Landlocked" was accepted to Parenthetical Magazine last week. It will be published in their online and (limited) print May issue. Link here: www.wordsonpagespress.com/pare…

My poetry book is currently on hold, since I've been so busy lately and I've submitted a lot of my work elsewhere. We'll see what happens with that. I was offered a place to publish my poetry (possibly) by an old friend and previous advisor, who just started his own publishing company. We'll see how that pans out. 


I hope y'all are doing well. I've been so happy, yet so stressed, at times. I had one minor slip, but it's all fine now. Better even.
I don't want to say that boyfriend brings out the happiness in me, but I would say that he makes it easier for me to bring out the happiness myself. :) I hope positive change are in store for all of us, my lovelies. Thank you for all of you that believed in me when I couldn't. 
  • Mood: Bliss
  • Listening to: Bones - James Blunt
  • Reading: Lefkowitz and Fant
  • Drinking: coffee

deviantID

sense-and-stupidity

Artist | Student | Literature
United States
My book: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/symbo…

"I want the count down inside of me to stop being so precise; I want to jump to zero and back to infinity. I believe in infinity. It's my fatal flaw."
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:iconpanosozi:
panosozi Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
thanks a lot for the fav on my photo.
wish u the best.
if you have time take a look at my rest gallery 
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Edited Jan 9, 2015   General Artist
hello there, lovely person! :huggle:
this is to inform you that i have made use of one of the titles in your poetry in my title poem over here: fav.me/d8d65gn :love:
i hope that this is alright with you, pray that you enjiy the read, and thank you for your inspirational artistry! :eager: <3
Reply
:iconfadedworlds:
fadedworlds Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you for the fav!  
Reply
:iconpsychobeast:
PsychoBeast Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014
You inspire me so much, your works make me write, write write. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always msg me. (even though you dont know me :P)
Reply
:iconsense-and-stupidity:
sense-and-stupidity Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much for this. I've kept from replying just so I can keep it in my inbox and look at it when I log on. One of my greatest wishes in life is to inspire other people, in whatever way. :) I'm glad you are writing and writing and writing; it's the only way to live, in my opinion. Have a splendid day, friend.
Reply
:iconchoque-plumbeo:
Choque-Plumbeo Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
hey wanna read a play with me?
Reply
:iconsense-and-stupidity:
sense-and-stupidity Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014  Student Writer
Yes. Which and how and when?
Reply
:iconchoque-plumbeo:
Choque-Plumbeo Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Its the King in yellow, part of it which i wrote, read it it's in my page, if you like it we'll talk about how. I'd like to record the voices to put the play together and i heard your voice and i really liked it, also i need a Cassilda and i hope you'll like it. As to when, im moving, so i can not until sunday.
Reply
:iconithaswhatitisnt:
ithaswhatitisnt Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the fave! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconjimfleming:
jimfleming Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014
Thank you :)
Reply
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